People love saying things like, “I’d take a bullet for you,” or “I’d die without you.” And sure, that sounds straight out of a dramatic movie scene. But let’s be honest. Dying for someone might just be the easier thing to do. The real test of love? It’s in the living. Living better. For them. With them. Because of them.
And that’s exactly what a woman named Adyasha Roy Tomar recently talked about in a heartfelt post on LinkedIn. Her story is about her father, a man from Madhya Pradesh, someone who spoke only pure Hindi but learnt Bangla just so he could talk to his wife, who was a Bengali.
Her mother never asked him to. He just wanted to learn the language to impress the woman he loved and to connect with her family.
“My father, a shudhh-Hindi speaking Madhya Pradesh ka vaasi learnt Baangla for my mom. She hadn’t asked him to. This was to in part, impress her, and in part communicate with her mum, who till this day speaks very broken Hindi,” she wrote.
Adyasha beautifully compared this to the shift in what grand gestures look like today. The days of “khoon se likhi chitthiyan” and “jaan de dunga” are slowly fading. What we have now is something more meaningful – like actually working on yourself for the person you love.
“I think the ‘majnu’ culture of ‘nass kaat-lunga,’ ‘Jaan-de-dunga’, ‘khoon se likkhi chitthiya’ slowly is Charles Darwining itself to the survival of the most considerate. Dying for love isn’t considered survival of the fittest, no? Tell me how you’ll live for me. More clearly – tell me how you’ll live better for me. Drinking lesser or reading more or finding love for animals or a passion for plays, a penchant for the dramatic, a flair for travel, the urge to get fit, or just try therapy – all could be great, grand gestures of love,” she added.
Have a look at her full post here:
Her post hit home for many people. One woman recalled how even though her husband proposed to her in Paris, the real grand gesture was him quietly cleaning up after her during pregnancy or taking care of their child so she could sleep. Another person appreciated the idea that learning a new language wasn’t just about impressing someone, but was about truly understanding the “why” behind love.
Have a look:
This quiet shift in how we express love isn’t loud or flashy. It’s in the little changes, like choosing to drink less, starting therapy, reading more, staying healthy, making time for passions, or just being there, consistently. These are the new-age love letters.