The taboo and shame surrounding divorce and separation are so immense that people prefer to stay in love-less, often abusive and emotionally-draining marriages than face social ridicule. A divorcee, in our country, is often looked down upon as a “home breaker” or someone who brings “bad luck”. Hence, they are not invited to family or neighbourhood functions and are forced to live a life of isolation.
There is also this debate between love marriage and arranged marriage. A lot of people believe that couples who have had an arranged marriage tend to stick around with each other for longer i.e. have a more successful and happy marriage than those who have had a love marriage.
In fact, on Wednesday, the Supreme Court observed that most divorces arise from love marriages. According to India Today, a bench of Justices BR Gavai and Sanjay Karol, while hearing a transfer petition arising out of a matrimonial dispute, claimed, “Most divorces are arising from love marriages only.”
#SupremeCourt #CourtroomExchange
Bench hearing transfer petition arising out of matrimonial dispute
Advocate: They had a love marriage.
Justice Gavai: Most divorces are arising from love marriages only.
Bench subsequently called for mediation. pic.twitter.com/V16eqaEnN9
— Bar & Bench – Live Threads (@lawbarandbench) May 17, 2023
As this news grabbed headlines, the Supreme Court judges were met with a lot of criticism from people online. Many highlighted that those who have had a love marriage had the power of making their own life decisions and hence, when stuck in an unhappy marriage, also have the power to choose to separate from their partners.
The same cannot be said for people who have had arranged marriages. In many cases, the persons involved do not have the agency and external support to make such a decision for themselves and a lot of family complications are involved. Hence, they choose to remain in an unhappy marriage than be free and happy alone.
Here’s a look at some of the reactions the news garnered on Twitter:
Translation: most divorces arise among people who have expressed agency by choosing their own partner once already in life, and are able to make the decision to leave their partner too.
This…this is a GOOD thing – the Supreme Court can see that right? ? https://t.co/9KQF3CG2lN
— Asmita (@asmitaghosh18) May 19, 2023
Hmmmm it's almost like arranged marriage is coercion and slavery and a situation where one partner has no power or autonomy https://t.co/ZvKnjHUFg0
— Carceral feminism enjoyer (@radish_20) May 18, 2023
Love knows no boundaries, and divorces can happen in any type of marriage. It’s unfair to generalize that most divorces occur in love marriages. Relationships are complex, and numerous factors contribute to their success or failure. Let’s move away from stereotypes and support…
— Shikhar Ganjoo, MD (@shikharganjoo) May 17, 2023
Yeah because in arranged marriages even the mere idea of a divorce will get the woman exposed to all sorts of verbal and physical violence. These people had any data or sources to validate this statement ya hawabaazi as usual, court me baith gaye hain toh kuch bhi bolte rahenge?
— utsa & prabhat patnaik fan club (@UP16stanaccount) May 17, 2023
Quite possible… Because in love marriages they exercise the very crucial factor i.e. CONSENT. Consent to live together or separate.
— Neelam Sumbrui (@neelamsumbrui) May 17, 2023
Unacceptable. It is the patriarchal mindset that would make this kind of a childish statement. There is more freedom for the woman/man to decide to move out of the marriage. Do u not agree that Arranged marriages place a lot more burden on the couple, many may not come forward
— Brinda Adige (@BrindaAdige) May 17, 2023
Abey, arranged marriage mein if given a choice to separate, aadhe se zyaada divorce lelenge.
Par kahaan choice hai, everything has to happen according to the family and society.
Divorcee tag nahi chahiye kisi ko, log jeena mushkil kardeten hain.
People endure in silence!— *** (@Veganweird_) May 17, 2023
Arranged marriage couples know , live through adjustment & lower expectations. It’s not like arranged marriages are working great wonders.
— Mallikarjun Reddy (@Malli_nitc) May 17, 2023
What’s wrong in divorcing? Rather than staying in an unhappy marriage, part happily. How many are happy in arranged marriage, just keeping the marriage on for society sake? Any data available?
— Swayambhu Soham??? ?️⚧️Xie| Xier | Xem) (@r01o2j30fmnvcn) May 17, 2023
Good, at least people are able to leave relationships which have run its course unlike arranged marriages where they’ve to stay put for the betterment of the entire mohalla.
— ?Furiosa? (@lokhhimeye) May 17, 2023
Atleast love marriage gives us that option!! Duh. With arranged marriage, chances of being stuck in a loveless, thankless relationship of servitude is very high. Let’s not even discuss marital rape.
— Buguja (@Buguja1) May 17, 2023
That’s pretty emphatic! Divorce is not the end game, but a way to get out of a bad relationship. Maybe, people in love marriages are also the ones most likely to end a poor marriage. Many more couples in arranged marriages may be suffering because of societal fears. Agree?
— Democracy in India is a Parody! (@RanjitMenon14) May 17, 2023
What are your views on the statement that was made by the two Supreme Court judges?