For years, the arranged marriage market has worked in favour of men. From the time a girl turns 21 or 22, her family starts preparing her for marriage, not based on what she wants, but what a “good family” would want in a bride. She must be fair-skinned, slim, polite, skilled in household chores, and willing to adjust to new surroundings without question. Her career, dreams, and opinions often take a backseat in the process.
On the other hand, a man is given time to grow, earn, and settle. He is never asked to compromise on his ambitions. The woman is expected to fit into his life, not the other way around.
So when a man recently complained on X that too many young men are being rejected in arranged marriages just because they haven’t reached a “lucrative” income yet, it struck a nerve. His point was that it’s unfair to expect a man under 30 to earn in lakhs, especially when he’s trying his best. But the internet wasn’t having it.
Here’s a look at his post:
Women immediately pointed out how men have, for decades, rejected women based on things that had nothing to do with compatibility. They’ve said no because the woman wasn’t “tall enough”, didn’t look a certain way, earned too much, or had “too many opinions”. They’ve turned down brides for not knowing how to cook, for being a few years older, or even for laughing too loudly. And now, when women say they want a man who’s financially stable, suddenly it’s a problem?
They reminded everyone how the arranged marriage system has long expected women to be perfect – in looks, in behaviour, in background – while the same expectations were rarely placed on men. A man with a paunch, no manners, or a shaky career could still find a wife, simply because he was a man. But now that women are flipping the script and being choosy, men are calling it “unfair”.
So men will reject a girl for the pettiest shit, expect her to be fairest of them all, thin, educated, be cooking and cleaning,be young, also have a significant dowry with a car ready but dare a girl reject a guy for not providing enough as a provider and they throw a fit https://t.co/3U3EPABrwz
— Fairy Faith 🍉 (@iman_asghar) May 18, 2025
I know a girl who was rejected for having too many friends, another girl was rejected for studying abroad, another girl was rejected for her dad’s average salary that they looked up, another girl was rejected for posting about women’s rights, shucks https://t.co/8tXdPDAywM
— Sabah Bano Malik (@sabahbanomalik) May 18, 2025
I know a girl got rejected because she had LASIK surgery. I know a girl got rejected because her sis was fat and they feared that she too will become fat. I know a girl got rejected because her mom was revert. I know a girl got rejected because she lived in a rental house. https://t.co/6U2JtuFFuU
— Reem (@TweetyGhazal) May 19, 2025
You are crying for getting rejected for something you can fix. Like you can earn money later. But we women get rejected for something we can’t even fix. Like I got rejected many times but the silliest one was because I was only child. So stop crying and earn if u want to marry. https://t.co/t42MGhBRSn
— ਸਾਹਿਬਾ ਕੌਰ (@789Sahiba) May 20, 2025
the rishta process isn’t about finding a life partner for you. It’s about sourcing a full-time, unpaid caretaker for their son. They want a woman ‘fair’ enough to show off, educated enough to teach their kids, but docile enough to never question their son’s incompetence. ++ https://t.co/BgJt54wjvQ
— taniizzzzz (@adhdptsdadult) May 19, 2025
So maybe, instead of complaining, it’s time men realise what women have quietly endured all these years. If a few rejections are what it takes to understand that marriage is not a reward for being a man, then so be it. Equality isn’t always comfortable, especially for those who’ve been used to having it easy.