Anybody who lives in India knows how the UPSC exam is among the toughest in the world, with only a small fraction of the numerous applicants succeeding each year. Aspirants are under immense pressure from the time they start preparing for the exam till the rank sheet pops up, dedicating several hours a day to study. Unfortunately, many parents add to the stress by creating a high-pressure atmosphere instead of offering support.
A screenshot of messages sent by a father to his son has been making rounds on social media. According to Hindustan Times, the screenshot was shared first on Reddit, probably by the aspirant himself, but it has since been deleted. However, it has started a widespread debate on toxic parenting online.
In the screenshot, we can see how the father lashed out at his son after the latter expected a score of 75 in the recently held UPSC preliminary examinations.
Angry at the low score, the father wrote, “My father never gave anything to me. Yet, you have seen how respectfully we live in Delhi. As for you, I have no hopes for you. I don’t think you will be able to do anything for me. Even today if I study diligently, I’m sure I can crack UPSC. In this paper, I can solve 20 questions and you have only managed to solve 40. Now all our relatives know how capable you are when it comes to studies.”
Have a look:
Here’s a look at the post that was shared online:
This was a response of a dad when his Son told he is getting 75 in UPSC Prelims 2024 https://t.co/VPHDPlt1QO pic.twitter.com/0xJTUce3rj
— Don Muji (Muji Ka Parivar) (@mujifren) June 17, 2024
Several people’s hearts reached out to the guy who was on the receiving end of his father’s harsh criticism. Many called out such toxic parenting and highlighted how parents like him make day-to-day lives so difficult for their children.
Here’s a look at what some said:
Heartbreaking man. That too over an exam with such low odds of success. No unconditional love for the son. It’s sad, but that’s the truth.
— Arjun* (@mxtaverse) June 17, 2024
“tum humko kuch nahi de paoge”
This is brutal, it can totally break the mental strength of the kid. I hope wherever he is, he finds peace.
— Aaraynsh (@aaraynsh) June 17, 2024
I would have worked as a daily wage worker but disowned this kind of father. It’s toxic on so many levels.
My parents couldn’t provide me a lot of resources or education BUT they were always supportive of my decisions and never ever humiliated me.
Thanks to Parmatama 🙏
— The curious case (@curious_thesis) June 17, 2024
Such parenting results in neither professionally successful nor socially well-adjusted individuals. People who call it good and tough parenting will only later realise the perils of this kind of cold and authoritarian approach.
Even if the child is successful, they would end up…— Dr Shaurya Garg (@DrShauryaGarg) June 18, 2024
This is so heartbreaking. Then people wonder why aspirants commit suicide or go into depression.
— Tanya Rajhans (@tanyarajhans7) June 17, 2024
The more this kinda parents i came across, the more i feel blessed and thank to god.
— Dhimahi Jain (@Dhimahi11) June 17, 2024
So sad to see this! I shouldn’t say it, but if I would have been at the place of the guy – this would trigger me to throw the phone away and not go back home !!
Provided I have been honest with my prep and effort !!
What’s wrong with us? There are so many things to do in life…
— Akash Tiwari (@akashtiwari1007) June 17, 2024
💔 The tone is familiar but reading this feels so bad for the son reading this. I hope he stays strong and keeps his morale high.
— Rahul (@rahulkp220) June 17, 2024
Why do some parents behave as though an exam is the be-all and end-all of life?